


The Best Acting I've Ever Seen

by wildglitterwolf



Category: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)
Genre: Blow Job, M/M, army uniform fetish, behind every great performance is a stuntman giving head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 04:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20960447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildglitterwolf/pseuds/wildglitterwolf
Summary: Rick is nervous about his big flamethrower scene inThe 14 Fists of McCluskey. Cliff is either helping or making it worse for him right before filming.





	The Best Acting I've Ever Seen

**Author's Note:**

> Something about Leo in uniform and an eyepatch operating a flamethrower really does it for me. I'd like to think it does for Cliff as well.

Rick nearly stumbles out of wardrobe but manages to catch himself before he does much damage. The eyepatch he was wearing was tripping him up more than expected but he also didn’t factor in still being slightly hungover into that equation. Yes, he knew the smartest thing would be to take it off and walk back to his trailer without it, but he wanted to get use to it for a longer period of time before shooting today’s scene. The scene he’s been practing the past couple weeks for that he was afraid he would fuck up. That god damn fucking flamethrower. It scared the shit out of him still even after all the hours he practiced with it and now the time has come. All those stuntmen being lit on fire… he wondered if Cliff ever did a stunt like that. Or if he could even do that if he knew Cliff was one of them. Maybe if he was really, really mad at him for something he could…

Rick’s thoughts were interrupted as he enters his trailer and hears a wolf whistle from the direction of his blind spot. He turns his head and finds Cliff in a chair on the far end reading the latest issue of _Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commando_s and giving him an almost predatory look. These were the times when Rick could understand why others wouldn’t want his creepy ass around set. 

“And just what the fuck is that all about? Jesus, Cliff. D-damn nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry, man. Was just appreciating the fine costume you got on there, and I’ve learned well enough to love a man in uniform. Why, you could be Sgt. Fury himself.”

Rick’s one visible eye makes a noticeable eye roll as he flops down on the couch and casually crosses his leg over his knee. His hand fumbles around for his pack of cigarettes off on the side where his vision is impaired by the eyepatch. His good eye, however, can’t help but keep looking over at Cliff just staring at him with a hungry look in his eyes. “W-what now?” he mutters, as he pulls a cigarette out of his pack and goes to light it.

“You should ask wardrobe if you can bring it home. I’ll dig out my war uniform and we could rewrite our own ending to this movie in the bedroom tonight.”

Rick nearly drops the lit cigarette in his lap as he gags on the inhaled smoke. “Jesus, Cliff. I-I brought you here f-for moral support. N-not t-to look at me like you want to fuck me without any subtlety.”

Cliff just laughs enjoying how flustered Rick was getting. “But it’s getting your mind off being nervous about the scene, right? So in a way I’m doing my job. Besides, I can’t help if I find men in uniform attractive seeing as I spent a lot of time around them.”

There was something to that last sentence that made Rick feel a bit jealous which his face didn’t make an attempt to hide. He felt himself wanting to ask Cliff if he ever had a fling with his fellow soldiers. It wouldn’t be a surprise seeing as being faced with death at any moment and not having a lot of options around if the desire arose would be reasons enough. Hell, Rick was a miserable, sobbing mess of a drunk so he knew far less than that managed to attract Cliff to him for reasons he still doesn’t understand.

“You feeling okay, partner? Do you need the ‘usual’?”

“Seems like you need it more than me today,” Rick mutters, but instinctively uncrosses his legs and spreads them wide enough for Cliff to get between. For some reason, Rick finds getting head very helpful right before shooting a scene. He would have thought when Cliff first suggested this years ago it would have been too much of a distraction trying to recite lines in his mind but if anything it seemed to do quite the opposite. Cliff would always joke he could tell while watching Rick’s stuff which scenes Rick got the ‘usual’ before since Rick seemed to have more vigor than normal. Cliff was always right. 

Rick decides to pay no attention to Cliff getting into position as this has become routine enough that foreplay was pretty much obsolete. Plus he wanted to keep up the appearance that Cliff’s comments weren’t working their charm on him when the opposite was true; if he wasn’t about to handle a weapon that could fry him to a crisp, he’d probably do more than just a blowjob right now. Maybe he should ask wardrobe if he could keep the costume if it would make Cliff pull out his uniform. He probably looked even more fine in it than Rick does in his.

“You know, for acting like you’re completely annoyed with my flirting, what’s in your pants is clearly telling me otherwise.”

“Shh… I-I’m trying to recite my lines. Less talking, more sucking," Rick demands as he snuffs out his cigarette in the ashtray. He quickly tries to think about his scene before Cliff gets too far along that he loses complete track of what he’s doing. Just a quick mental read through first. He’s behind the curtain. The Nazis are talking below before sending one up. Getting ready. Get ready. Curtain opens. Say the line…

‘SHIT! What the hell, Cliff? Th-the f-fuck you… you bite me for??”

Cliff was trying his best not to laugh and has to compose himself for a bit before he can say what made him react like that. “Look, I’m sorry, man. It was an accident. But did you seriously say what I think you just said?”

Rick blinks at him looking completely lost and thinks. He must have said it out loud. “A-anybody order fried sauerkraut?”

Cliff smirks and shakes his head. “Now that is one fucking stupid line. Who the hell wrote that?”

“Some guy...t-the screenwriter. Don’t remember his name. Guess he thought it was funny.”

“Well seeing as I’m the only one in this trailer who has actually killed Nazis, I can tell you it wasn’t quite the environment to come up with shitty one-liners before killing.” Cliff never mentioned it but he did feel weird about Hollywood’s interest in something he actually lived through, especially with comedic elements. There was nothing funny about the shit he’s seen, the horrific ways he saw people die that he had grown to care for, or even those who lived but remained haunted by their demons. 

“Hey, earth to Cliff,” Rick says as he taps Cliff on the side of the head. “Don’t leave me hanging.”

“Hmm? Oh… sorry,” Cliff whispers as he shakes his head clear. 

“And by the way, don’t make another mess like last time. I returned the last costume to wardrobe and they had a few questions about the stains left on there.”

Cliff chuckles and gives him a salute. “Yes, Sir. Whatever you say, Sir. Why don’t you give me a fair warning then when you’re getting close so I know when to batten down the hatches. Say that fucking line as loud as you can.”

Rick groans a ‘fine’ out at this. Cliff is never going to let him live this stupid thing down. But he’s too far along where he can’t just shove himself back in his pants that he needs Cliff to just finish him off. He closes his eyes and concentrates on fleshing out the scene fully this time.

_Alright, Rick. Let’s walk through this nice and slow. We’re behind the curtain, listening in on their plan…_ [groans]_ Now take a peek, look around, survey everyone._ [mmmmm] _Okay, they’re telling the guy to open the curtain, make a gesture that indicates you’re getting ready_ [“Calm your hips there, partner, so I don’t choke.” Shut up, Cliff] _Where was I, where was I… fuck…. Okay, okay. He’s coming up the stairs. Getting… getting close. Close… Ahh_ [Ahh]_ raise your flamethrower, take a deep breath. Make sure they get a… a side… side_ [fuuuuuck]_ view when the… curtain opens. Light it. LIGHT IT. _

Rick was pretty sure he screamed that line. And the sudden tight pressure around the base of his cock sent him off, eyes pressed tightly shut as his hands where gestured as if holding his weapon and moved them around as he imagined crisping those Nazis’ asses. What a sweet fucking release.

To his surprise, he doesn’t hear anything on Cliff’s end as he expected to be mocked for this. It was almost bothering him that he wasn’t even though he felt him still cleaning up the mess. He’s still keeping his eyes shut, afraid if he looks he’ll see Cliff’s stupid look of satisfaction, and he didn’t feel like giving that to him. “I-it better be all clean.”

“Yup. I was thorough. Not a drop.”

“Good.”

Rick still keeps up with his ostrich like strategy as he tries to ignore looking at him for several more minutes. Cliff must have gotten a show, now that he thinks about it. Yeah, he wasn’t living this down at all. Fuck.

“Okay. That line is fucking stupid.”

“Yuuuuup.”

Rick just shakes his head and jumps at the sound of a knock at the door and the voice calling for him to come on set now. He quickly stuffs himself back in his pants and zips up, playfully kicking Cliff out of the way so he can stand up and brush himself off. He takes one last look in the mirror making sure everything is in place and doesn’t look like he just got sucked off by his stunt double.

“How do I look?”

Cliff just flashes him a toothy grin and a wink. “Good luck, partner. Make sure you bring the same intensity you did just now.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Rick grumbles as he punches his shoulder on the way out. He can do this. He’s practiced enough. The stunt crew won’t let him roast people for real. He’s got this. He’s Rick fucking Dalton.

And when the film came out and Cliff managed to catch himself a screening, he was sure to let Rick know immediately that that scene was his best performance ever.

**Author's Note:**

> I've just been through what might be the two worse weeks of my life so writing this dumb thing was rather cathartic. Actually this movie in general has been helping me get through this shit. Now when are we getting the BD release date already??


End file.
